Meaningless Symbols
I’m glad Valentine’s season is over. I was getting sick of the diamond and teddy bear commercials…
I have never wanted a diamond, but I am very aware of the pressure from retailers for me to have one. The greater pressure is on men, however. Although retailers are telling me to want a diamond, they are telling men that no woman will give them a second look if they don’t buy her one (or more). As we know, men are usually clueless about how to win a woman’s heart or understand what she wants, so messages like these are especially dangerous.
We see calls to the Suze Orman show asking for advice about taking loans to buy $8,000 engagement rings and other nonsense. Would your wife not love you if you didn’t spend enough? Does the amount you pay reflect the closeness of the relationship?
These things are dangerous not only because they affect people’s financial lives but because they promote a certain type of materialism that strikes on a psychological level as a symbol of “worthiness”. One could go on and on about all the other instances of the attitude that “possessions make you somebody”: you must have a certain size house, the right car, trendy clothes, newest gadget…
We all fall into that loop somewhere and it’s probably impossible to escape it…
agreed. i had neither an engagement ring nor a wedding ring until my mom kept nagging us to get a ring that she had previously wanted to get for me “for fun.” so we gave in and bought a *VERY* modest ring about a month after marriage. i barely wear it.
my reasoning is that i’d rather have my husband put X thousands dollars on a down payment for a home, rather than on a little band that i could lose in a public restroom. silly silly.
i’ve always found hand-crafted sterling silver jewelry much more appealing than any debeers mass-produced item.
I have a tiny cheap diamond ring that (dont tell anyone) my parents bought for me as a wedding ring (we’re too poor) - and I’ve developed a swelling problem in my fingers so I can’t wear it! What a waste. It’s all a waste. Stones that the retailers place value on, and otherwise are devoid of value.